Pocket Porn: Nearly a third of teens carry portable X-rated theaters

Jeff first saw porn when he was seven years old when he came upon a Playboy magazine. By fifth grade, the Internet became a main source of pornography for his young mind. As technology advanced, so did his obsession. But it was his iPod, and later his iPhone, that gave him such easy access.

The days of the X-rated movie theater may be nearly over, but unfortunately, many teens and young adults today are carrying around an adult theater in their pocket. Last year, US Internet users crossed a threshold. According to what is possibly the largest porn website in the world, now more than half (52%) of US porn use is coming from smartphones—yes, the majority of those who access porn in the United States are doing so from a mobile device.

Sadly, many teens are joining the ranks of mobile porn viewers. Today, 31% of 14-17-year-olds own a smartphone, and with no restrictions, smartphones can access graphic hardcore pornography with ease.

The Downward Spiral of Technology

Jeff describes his childhood introduction to the Internet as an “‘instant,’ vast, and deep hole.” Once online, he would look at anything and everything his fifth-grade mind could find. He soon discovered AOL Instant Messenger and the ability to sex chat with strangers. Peer-to-peer networks gave him access to vast amounts of porn, but with the invention of Flash and broadband Internet, his access to videos became even easier in middle school and high school.

Finally, his sophomore year of college, he got an iPod for his birthday. Jeff could lay in bed and watch porn with his headphones on while his roommate sat at the other end of the room unaware.

Realizing the depth of his addiction, he would attempt some sobriety, but these were short-lived seasons of success.

The summer after graduation, Jeff got an iPhone 4 with 3G access, and the pit got deeper and deeper.

Generation XXX

Talking to today’s college students, we know digital access to porn in the teenage years is not a new thing. More than 90% today’s college men and more than 60% of college women in the US saw porn before the age to 18. For most men (51%) their initial exposure to porn came before their teenage years (a third of women say the same).

Moreover, young men and women are not just consuming porn—they are becoming porn. Conservative estimates say about 20% of 16-year-olds and 30% of 17-year-olds have received a sext (sexually explicit text message) from someone else. Teens use Snapchat to send nude images of themselves—with the false hope that the image cannot be saved. Boyfriends and girlfriends use Skype to masturbate in front of their webcams for each other. Teens can use Tumblr or Facebook to post leaked sexting photos of their peers. Ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends are even posting sexual images of their ex online—a phenomenon called “revenge porn.” Sexual images like this are often a catalyst for “slut shaming.”

The Need for Mobile Accountability

Now more than ever, parents and schools need to broaden their approach to Internet safety.

1. Both parents and schools need to be proactively teaching teens about the negative impact of pornography. Programs like Fight the New Drug are coming to schools nationwide, teaching teens about negative health effects of porn compared to healthy human sexuality.
2. Both parents and schools need to recognize the problem with the anonymity of mobile pornography. Schools need to think hard about the devices they distribute to their students. Do school-issued iPads have access to porn both on and off school grounds? Does that iPod touch parents purchased for Christmas have protective restrictions?
3. Parents need to take a leading role in encouraging an environment of loving accountability in the home, showing sympathy for present struggles (if there are any) while setting appropriate limits on what should and should not be accessed on mobile devices. Accountability software should be installed on all mobile devices with a clear expectation that there is no room for privacy when it comes to harmful content online. (By the way, if you use Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability, you can now use our Android app to lock down other apps, like unmonitored browsers.)

Like Father, Like Son

Jeff isn’t the only one in his family impacted by pornography. His father, George, was also a porn addict—all while pastoring a church.

Jeff remembers his father catching him with porn when he was young and being punished for it. He also remembers the day when he was 18 years old—the day George confessed to him, his mom, and his siblings that he had an addiction to porn and had been wrapped in an affair. A few days later George resigned from his Senior Pastor position. “First he was my dad who punished me for looking at porn,” Jeff says. “Then he was the hypocrite who failed his family.”

After Jeff graduated college he moved in with his parents. After many valiant efforts to quit looking at pornography, and after a stint of victory, one day he found himself stressed out about an upcoming job interview. The stress triggered in his mind a desire to return to his old release valve of porn. He binged all afternoon and evening, and by that night he was sitting under the heavy weight of his shame.

Then a still small voice reminded him: “You know, your dad can help you with this, and he’s just at the end of the hall.” At this point in his life, Jeff still hated his father for the grief he put his family through, but he finally gave in and knocked on his father’s door.

I expected the man from my childhood to tell me how horrible I was and how guilty I should feel. Instead I was saw a man I had never met before. He told me how sorry he was. He offered to pray for me and encouraged me towards Jesus with the Gospel. I cried so hard that night, but I found so much peace. That began a healing work in the relationship between me and my father. It has taken almost four years, but he is now my sponsor, and we talk every day—if anything, just to check in. I am very thankful for him.

Written by Luke Gilkerson

Why is Porn Addictive?

Porn is addictive for the same reason that many drugs are addictive. Neuroscientist Dr. William Struthers explains how the brain reacts to viewing pornography repeatedly:

As men fall deeper into the mental habit of fixating on these images, the exposure to them creates neural pathways. Like a path is created in the woods with each successive hiker, so do the neural paths set the course for the next time an erotic image is viewed. Over time these neural paths become wider as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. They become the automatic pathway through which interactions with women are routed. The neural circuitry anchors this process solidly in the brain. With each lingering stare, pornography deepens the Grand Canyon-like gorge in the brain through with images of women are destined to flow. (Wired for Intimacy, p.85)

Testosterone

This is a gonadal hormone (produced in the testis) involved in many processes in the body. One of them is the male sexual drive. Testosterone drives a man’s interest in sex. Mentally fantasizing triggers a reflexive response in the body to release testosterone, and the more one does this, the “wave” of testosterone continues to build. Men experience this as an intense and growing desire for sexual release.

This wave of testosterone will occur if a man is thinking about or interacting with his wife, but it also happens when a man is staring at other women or a pornographic image.

Norepinephrine

Norepinephrine is the brain’s version of adrenaline. Unlike adrenaline, it is not a hormone circulating through the body, but like adrenaline, it is responsible for making us alert. It is the neurotransmitter that is responsible for helping us to wake up and fall asleep and helping us to stay alert at work or in class.

During sexual arousal, such as watching pornography, norepinephrine alerts the brain: “Something is about to happen and we need to get ready for it.” It “ramps up” the brain for activity.

Serotonin

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter tied to mood. Low serotonin levels can lead to someone struggling with depression.

While not specifically tied to sex, when sexual arousal happens, serotonin is released in small packets in the brain, elevating someone’s overall sense of excitement and enjoyment.

Dopamine

The brain is wired in such a way that it wants to remember where our natural drives are satisfied. For instance, when we are thirsty and find water, the brain is wired to place significance on the place we found it so we can return to that place.

Dopamine is the drive-related neurotransmitter that accomplishes this mental focus for us. When we have a natural craving, small packets of dopamine surge from the region known as the mesencephalon into our limbic system, which is a part of the brain responsible for emotion and learning. Because dopamine is about focus and significance, when we have a dopamine surge the sense we feel is, “I have got to have this thing. This is what I need right now, and here’s where I get it.”

Dopamine is not sexually specific like testosterone, but it is released during sexually pleasurable experiences. Dopamine is the way your brain remembers how sexual craving was satisfied in the past, pushing you to seek out the same thing in the future. When it comes to someone addicted to pornography, dopamine creates a sharp focus on finding porn.

Endogenous Opiates

The body produces natural forms of opium called endorphins. Endorphins relieve pain and, like opium, a euphoric feeling of well-being. A “runners high” is one example of a release of these endorphins.

When a man ejaculates, these opiates are easily released, creating a “high” and a wave of pleasure coursing over the body.

Oxytocin and Vasopressin

Oxytocin and vasopressin are hormones released in the brain, and one of the times they are released is in response to ejaculation. These hormones help to lay down the long-term memories for the cells. They “bind” a person’s memories to the object that gave him the sexual pleasure.

When someone returns to pornography again and again, this cements a “relationship” between a man and what he has seen in the pornography.

Putting it All Together

As a man goes through his day, testosterone levels begin to increase as he stares at women or fantasizes about them, creating a desire for sexual release. Meanwhile, norepinephrine is being released, making his brain more and more alert and ready for action. Serotonin is also released, creating a sense of excitement about his sexual “payoff.” In addition, dopamine is focusing the mind, telling the brain, “You have to go back to the porn. That’s where the reliable payoff is.” Then the man seeks out porn and masturbates, releasing endogenous opiates in the brain, giving him a rush of euphoria. In addition, oxytocin and vasopressin are released, binding him to the images he sees.

Written by Luke Gilkerson

Poof No More Text - Not With Snapchat

Have  you ever sent illicit photos over Snapchat? If you have, are they available to law enforcement in the throes of an investigation into your activities? 

Snapchat, by its very nature is a temporary picture-sharing service. 
What makes it attractive at all is the ability of the sender to limit the amount of time the receiver can see the photo, anywhere from one to ten seconds. After that amount of time, the photo is supposedly gone forever. 

A big story on AL.com at the moment is about the Blount County teacher, Ashley Parkins Pruitt arrested yesterday afternoon, accused of having inappropriate sexual relationships with three high school-aged boys.

Authorities say that the teacher sent some rather revealing photographs to the boys via Snapchat, among other offenses. 

Are those photos still around? If they are, does law enforcement have access to them?

And if they do, are Snapchat messages really as fleeting as they are made out to be?

Like most consumer-serving technology companies, Snapchat has a Law Enforcement Guide that serves as a kind of FAQ for those in the government that may want to obtain records of users. 

The guide says that Snapchat will release records about an individual account as long as the enforcement agency follows the processes laid out by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act (ECPA) of 1986. 

The text of the act simply extends citizen protections against wiretaps to the arena of digital communications. Pretty progressive for 1986, I think.

The process is a simple subpoena for documentation. It doesn't get them much. 

All a subpoena will get a law enforcement agency is access to your basic account info: your account name, email address, phone number, and when the account was created.

If the agency needs more, like a log of previous snapchats, they have to obtain either a state or federal search warrant.  

The log is only meta-data - data about the data of the messages - not the actual content of the messages. 

For instance, if you sent me a picture of your dog last week and your Snapchat records were acquired through a search warrant, it would show that you sent me a message and at what time, but would not show that it was a picture of your dog.

The actual content of the Snapchats are much less likely to be available to law enforcement. This is because, true to their words, the content of the Snapchats, the actual pictures, are deleted from the Snapchat servers as soon as both parties have seen the content.

The exception to this rule is if the receiving party has not opened that particular chat and seen the content. In that case, the chat is wiped from their servers 30 days after sending.

At the far end of the privacy spectrum, Snapchat does have a system for requesting individual's records in the event of an emergency.

These emergency requests are handled very carefully and are only granted when and if someone is in immediate danger. 

So there you have it, Snapchat will not turn over the content of your past Snapchats because it no longer has access to them. 

Snapchat couldn't cooperate with law enforcement even if they wanted to, because, as part of their base operations, the content of messages is not available to them. 

We've talked about this kind of model before. It's what's called a commitment device. Both Apple and Android have recently instituted similar plans for the way they handle customer data. 

But what about The Snappening? 

200,000 compromising pictures were leaked a couple of months ago which originally came from Snapchat. 

Even though those pictures were originally sent through the Snapchat servers, they were actually leaked by a third party application whose sole purpose was the retaining of Snapchats for users. 

These third party apps are sketchy, at best, and may offer no privacy protections at all, from law enforcement or otherwise.

Furthermore, keep in mind that the receiver of any message you send has the ability to screenshot the Snapchat while it is still being viewed. In this case, the picture resides on the phone of whomever you sent it to and is available to law enforcement for search, just like anything else the person in question may be carrying. 

Snapchat will not willfully hand over content to law enforcement, but they can only guarantee and protect what is actually in their servers. Everything else is pretty much fair game.

Your best bet is to not send illicit things across the internet.

Teens and Porn: 10 Stats You Need to Know

Two years ago, several hundred college students filled out an online survey to help researchers understand how prevalent exposure to pornography was among adolescents. Here are some of the results:

Teens and porn use is a serious problem today. Researchers said this sample of students had “a considerable amount of exposure” to Internet pornography, and they were particularly concerned about the degree of exposure to deviant sexual activity. “If participants in this study are typical of young people,” researchers commented, “exposure to pornography on the Internet can be described as a normative experience, and more study of its impact is clearly warranted.”

93% of boys and 62% of girls see porn before that age of 18. See more frightening porn stats

PUBLIC UNIVERSITY’S SEX WEEK INCLUDES ‘NEGOTIATING SUCCESSFUL THREESOMES’ EVENT

The University of New Mexico has launched its first-ever “Sex Week” observance this week with a controversial agenda that includes workshops such as “How to be a Gentleman and Still Get Laid,” “Negotiating Successful Threesomes,” “O-Face Oral” and “BJs and Beyond” – seminars that have prompted concern from some conservative students on campus.

“It’s gross … and offensive,” said 21-year-old junior Sade Patterson in an interview Monday with The College Fix. Patterson is vice president of Students for Life UNM, and she and her group recently penned letters voicing concern about the events to the dean of students and the campus newspaper.

“There is nothing wrong with telling students how to prevent diseases and unplanned pregnancy, because it’s better if they are prepared … but these events are not displaying a concern for students’ well being. I see it as a way to push the concept of free and non-consequential sex on students, just have sex with whoever you want to and there is not going to be any consequences – have a threesome.”

But Reid Mihalko, the sex educator slated to lead many of the presentations, said in an email to The College Fix that his workshops are helpful and college-age appropriate. 

“Whether it’s how to use lube and condoms to enhance the safety and pleasure of a blow job or how to have … a ‘Safe Sex Elevator Speech’ so you can have a safe and healthy threesome, all of my classes, no matter how outrageous, provocative, or explicit the titles may be teach adults better communication and intimacy skills, offer accurate sexual health information, and do so in a non-fear based and ‘edutaining’ environment,” he said.

Patterson, for her part, said she and her group planned to set up a table at Monday night’s “How to be a Gentleman and Still Get Laid” campus event, led by Mihalko.

“The biggest act of being gentleman is accepting fatherhood,” she said. “We are going to be there and have a presence. We are not protesting or anything like that, we want people to know there are responsible people on campus who will help them.”

Meanwhile, the University of New Mexico published a statement on Monday defending the Sex Week agenda.

“Our rational is that by teaching medically accurate sex education with prevention infused throughout, we will be heard by the folks who need this info the most. Young people are arguably interested in sex and many of them have had limited or no sex education. In teaching them about sex, we can also teach them about healthy relationships and consent,” said Summer Little, director of the campus Women’s Resource Center, a co-sponsor of Sex Week.

Citing the “provocative nature of the titles of the workshops,” the statement adds “the university is dependent upon the unfettered flow of ideas, not only in the classroom and the laboratory, but also in all university activities. As such, protecting freedom of expression is of central importance to the university.”

Many of the Sex Week seminars are slated to be led by self-described “Sex Geek” Reid Mihalko. Last week he gave his “How to be a Gentleman and Still Get Laid” presentation at Lynchburg College, and he used a vulva puppet and a rubbery-looking dildo to educate the packed audience of Virginia college students on the nuances of stimulating the male and female nether regions, The College Fixreported. 

“I use puppets and marital aids in my lectures to lessen cultural shame around our bodies and to educate men and women on how to better pleasure their partners,” Mihalko said in an email to The College Fix.

As for the “Negotiating Successful Threesomes” and “BJs and Beyond” presentations, he is set to give those later this week at Self Serve, an adult business in Albuquerque. Students are asked to pay an additional fee to attend those seminars, and space is limited.

Asked whether such topics “cross a line” with students, Mihalko said no.

“Educational workshops that cover explicit sexual topics only cross a line in terms of what ‘society’ deems ‘appropriate,'” he said in an email to The College Fix. “The societal attitudes that say talking openly and educating college students about sex are wrong or dirty are the same attitudes that have inadvertently caused an epidemic of sexual assault and domestic violence on campuses.”

“My sex-positive educational workshop on fellatio teaches men and women how to feel confident about other people’s bodies, how to understand their own, how to have safer oral sex, and increases their sexual self-esteem,” he added. “When people have increased sexual self-esteem they generally have more self-esteem in general. People with higher self-esteem and accurate sexual health information make healthier sexual and relationship choices in life. Don’t colleges want their students to be making healthier choices in life?”

The Hidden Costs in Your Kids “Free” Apps

Kim Kardashian has a new free game in the iTunes app store, and it’s expected to make her $85 million this year.

Let me repeat that. This free game is expected to make $85 million within an approximately 6-month period.

Less obvious: how much of that money will be spent by unsuspecting kids, simply because a credit card was attached to their iTunes account?

Freemium, Microtransactions, and Modern Gaming

With the rise of the Internet over the last 20 years, the concept of “Freemium” has exploded. The general concept is to offer something for free, with the idea of encouraging users to fall in love with a product and eventually pay for it.

Remember those ubiquitous “free trial” AOL CDs that came packaged with everything? That was freemium. More recently, you may have encountered “paywalls” on various sites, especially the news industry. Denied the revenue stream from printed subscriptions, many newspapers set an online limit of 10 articles a month, requiring a subscription to read more.

Gaming has taken this concept and transformed it into a revenue-generating art. On the console side of things, games that are already $60 will often offer multiple packages of downloadable content (DLC) for an additional fee. This concept may be as inexpensive as an extra weapon for the game for $2, or it might be an addition to the story for $10. For some of the most popular titles, the cost of these add-ons could easily amount to the cost of an entirely new game.

On consoles, at least, it is clear when you are paying for an addition to the game, and as a rule you are only rewarded for paying extra money, never punished. These additional transactions are generally available only outside the game; you must sign into the console’s store to make those purchases.

More insidious are “microtransactions,” small purchases usually costing $1-2, which are often built directly into the game itself. While the player can usually continue on with the game without making these purchases, they can offer a significant boost to the player’s success.

Take “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood,” which allows the player to go from a complete unknown to an A-list celebrity in Virtual Hollywood. How? By partying with or dating virtual celebrities (of course)…and also by updating your look, wardrobe, apartment, or whatever using virtual money or virtual clout (“K-Stars”). Both accrue naturally over the course of the game, or you can hasten this by buying K-Stars with real-life currency, paying $5 for 50 (10 per dollar spent) or $99 for 1250 (about 12.5 per dollar spent). One blogger for the highly feminist blog Jezebel (intentionally unlinked) reportedly spent untold hours and $494.50 in real money to become an A-list celebrity.

The point of this is not to bash on Kim Kardashian’s game (although many parents will want to question whether their children should explore the lifestyle illustrated in such a game). Rather, this one “fun little game” (as Kardashian herself described it) is indicative of the larger trend in gaming: you don’t have to pay to play, but the developers are going to make it very easy and enticing to do so.

The Virtual Skinner Box

So why does this work? Why do people choose to pay when they can eventually get similar functionality for free? The answer is that these games condition you to want more functionality sooner.

B.F. Skinner, professor of psychology at Harvard, demonstrated this idea using his now famous “Skinner box.” Game researcher Nick Yee explains Skinner’s research:

Skinner boxes are small glass or plexi-glass boxes equipped with a combination of levers, food pellets, and drinking tubes. Laboratory rats are placed into Skinner boxes and conditioned to perform elaborate tasks. At first, the rat is rewarded with a food pellet for facing the lever. Then it is rewarded if it gets closer to the lever. Eventually, the rat is shaped to press the lever. Once the rat learns that pressing the lever is rewarded, a food pellet does not need to be dropped every time and the rat will still continue pressing the lever.

Like Skinner boxes, most games have a very quick rewards cycle at the beginning of a game (level up and gain additional powers multiple times within the first few hours). Eventually this basic rewards-structure will slow down, but by that point most well-designed games will have additional goals in place to keep you pressing the lever—goals like leveling up in a certain skill (by performing a certain action a certain number of times), or like defeating a certain monster who only shows up at a certain time to gain a certain piece of equipment.

Microtransactions feed on this—and, literally, on your wallet—by offering a way to hasten the gratification cycle.

• It may take months (or years) of playing to accrue enough K-Stars to become an A-list celebrity in “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood,” or you can drop almost $500 to reach that status in a number of days. (Unfortunately, your character will live in an empty virtual apartment, putting your celebrity status in a tenuous position, thereby encouraging you to pay more.)
• You can build defenses for a virtual city in “Clash of Clans” over several days, or you can spend real money to speed up the construction process.
• “Candy Crush Saga” limits the number of lives you have to solve puzzles on a given day…or you can pay for extra lives to keep playing.
• Even Angry Birds allows you to pay a dollar to skip a level.

Kids and Cash

Now, there’s nothing wrong with this. There is absolutely nothing illegal about a company wanting to make money, and a discerning adult can look at a microtransaction in an app and make an informed decision about whether or not it’s worth the real-life cash. In fact, if it’s a game you truly enjoy, I’d argue that making a $5 payment or two is good; it supports the game’s developers and enables them to continue to improve it.

The problem comes when kids are offered the opportunity to pay to play. Some kids may overemphasize the value of a game, especially if their friends are playing it, and insist it’s totally worth it to pay for a one-time benefit for a game they’ll stop playing in two weeks. Others may not even realize they’re spending real money, or think they’re spending from an allowance with an automatic limit when they’re actually charging their in-game purchases to high-limit credit card accounts.

This was the case with author Ayelet Waldman’s son (warning: some language at that link), who thought he was making purchases from a $20-per-month iTunes allowance, but actually charged $120 to his parents’ linked credit card over a two-day period. Apple supplied a full refund and the child learned a valuable lesson…but he wasn’t the only child to overpay without parental permissions. In January, in fact, Apple reached a settlement with the Federal Trade Commission to provide refunds to parents whose children unwittingly paid for in-app purchases that they assumed were simply another free part of the game. These refunds are expected to reach $32.5 million, if not exceed that amount.

What Parents Can Do

Apple has since made strides to minimize these unauthorized in-app purchases, but theirs is not a perfect system, as Waldman’s son recently proved. Parents need to monitor the apps their kids use, not just for the safety of their own bank accounts, but as teachable moments for their kids about wise app use and wise spending.

1. Hold kids accountable for app use.

The first thing parents need to do is to simply be aware of what apps their kids use, and hold their kids accountable for them. For Covenant Eyes users whose kids use Android devices (including Kindle Fire), this is easy. Our Android app reports which other apps were accessed on the device, letting you identify the apps and do a little digging when you’re not sure what they are. It even allows you to lock down apps (like Google Play).

On iPhone, it’s a bit trickier, since we only monitor Internet activity generated directly through our browser app. However, you can set app restrictions, and block your kids from downloading apps without your permission, and from making in-app purchases. (Additionally, you may want to set purchases to require a password every time they go to make a purchase, instead of every 15 minutes.)

Regardless of the device, make sure you do a periodic app review, and make sure you know what apps they have installed.

Of course, your kids may be resistant to the idea of parental monitoring, especially if you haven’t been holding them accountable for Internet and app use in the past. Download Accountable Kids, a free e-book, for tips on introducing them to the concept of accountability.

2. Set allowances and remove credit cards.

We’ve mentioned setting restrictions above. On the iPhone, simply restricting in-app purchases may solve all your financial concerns. But what if you want your kids to make these financial decisions themselves? How can you let them do that without giving them free reign over your credit card?

For iPhone, iPod touch, and iPad, you can actually set a monthly allowance for your kids (or yourself) in iTunes. Apple has a walkthrough available here. It’s important to note that this is not a foolproof system; as in the case of Waldman’s son, he had an allowance, but the app deferred to the credit card attached to the account. You will want to give your kids unique iTunes accounts with no credit cards attached, or check the iTunes account they currently use and remove any credit cards from there.

Android does not appear to have any allowance settings, so to limit spending, we recommend making sure no credit card is attached to your child’s Google Play account, then giving them gift cards for in-app spending. (You may also purchase gift cards for iTunes, if you don’t want to give your kids an allowance.)

3. Play the games.

For a more hands-on approach, download any games your kids want to play and play them yourself before you let them play it. You don’t have to play them for long. A few levels will suffice. Look for content concerns (like inappropriate outfits and/or morals in “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood”), but also look for microtransactions. Then, assuming you are okay with your child using the app (which, in many cases, you will be), make sure you talk about some of the things you noticed. The discussion may be as simple as saying something like, “You’ll be able to buy extra K-Stars in the game. Remember, these K-Stars cost real-world money. You have an allowance in iTunes, but you only have $20 for the whole month, so if you choose to spend it all on K-Stars, you won’t be able to buy any other apps or music this month.”

Of course, sometimes you may decide you don’t want your child to play the game. Make sure you don’t turn those conversations into a lecture, but keep them as a two-way street. For example, if you forbid your child from playing “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood,” your child may feel left out if all of his or her friends are playing it, and they may feel like you’re punishing them or aren’t being fair. Explain why you don’t want them to play the game (or download the social app), listen to their concerns, then try to come up with a solution together.

4. Teach them about money.

Ideally, you have been teaching your kids about making wise financial choices for a long time. Microtransactions allow you to help your kids put some principles into practice. More specifically, remind them that if they choose to spend their allowance on in-app purchases, that’s their choice. However, once that money is spent, that money is gone. Instead of frittering away money a dollar or two at a time, they can put it aside for that $100 LEGO set they want.

There are plenty of other blogs or programs that cover teaching your kids about finances (Dave Ramsey comes to mind), so I won’t belabor the point. But remember what Jesus said in Matthew 6:21: “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Whether you choose to spend your money on clothes or church or Internet protection for your family or technology upgrades or books or “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood,” that’s where your heart will be.

Raising a Porn Addict: Do you make these mistakes?

Now that the first of the Internet generation has entered adulthood, porn use has become more common than ever before. Old Internet filtering approaches aren’t enough anymore. Parents need to understand the problem and create an atmosphere of love and accountability in the home. The goal is not merely to keep kids safe online but train kids to become responsible adults.

(Don’t believe us? Learn the facts in the infographic below.)

Porn creates demand for sex trafficking

Opposition to sex trafficking is almost universal. People don’t think anyone should be forced into sexual acts for another’s gratification. Yet, this form of slavery is widespread, even in Western nations. 

But many also say they believe pornography production and distribution is a “victimless crime.” They don’t connect the dots that lead from pornography directly to sex trafficking. 

Pornography is a powerful stimulant that can actually alter brain patterns, creating addiction. It is produced mainly for men, and it begins shaping their sexual road maps as early as pre-adolescence. 

Our sexualized culture, with its constant sexual portrayal of women, affects not only boys and men but girls and women, too. Mass-marketing advertising campaigns directed at young girls seem to dictate that they must dress and act like prostitutes to be valued. 

In 2007, an American Psychological Association task force found that girls increasingly view themselves as objects in a process called “sexual self-objectification.” One result is today’s epidemic of “sexting,” teens sending pornographic photos of themselves or others via cell phones. 

Pornography thrives in this sex-charged culture, leading to a pandemic of harm. A recent study of top-selling porn videos in America by Dr. Ana J. Bridges revealed that 88 percent of the scenes contained either physical or verbal violence. Males are viewing near nonstop depictions of predatory men acting as sexual psychopaths attacking women. These images condition men to view women as objects for their pleasure and desensitize them to the real pain caused by sexual exploitation, including sex trafficking.

Thus, pornography creates the demand for sex trafficking. Court-tested obscenity laws that prohibit distribution of hardcore adult porn are on the books, if only prosecutors would enforce them. Ever since the U.S. Supreme Court’s Miller ruling in 1973, the definition of obscenity, which is not protected by the First Amendment, has been clear. In case after case, courts have convicted pornographers that sell obscene material. Yet, despite this success, the U.S. Department of Justice has failed to initiate a new obscenity case in the last six years. 

Pornography thrives in an atmosphere of non-enforcement. So, too, does sex trafficking, which is found in every major city in America. Attorney Laura Lederer, a founder of America’s anti-trafficking movement, warned, “We should not say that pornography leads to sex trafficking; pornography is sex trafficking.”

Scholar Dr. Catherine Mackinon says that consuming pornography is an “experience of bought sex and thus it creates a hunger to continue to purchase and objectify, and act out what is seen.” Pornography, she says, is “advertising for trafficking, not just in general but also in the sense that traffickers and pimps use pornographic images of victims as specific advertising for their ‘products.’ ”

We must employ all means to stop that demand. This means curbing pornography distribution by enforcing state and, particularly, federal obscenity laws, including those against the smut explosion on the Internet. 

The federal Trafficking Victims Protection Act (TVPA) provides law enforcers with tools to combat trafficking. As defined by the TVPA, trafficking is present in the mainstream porn industry where force, fraud and coercion can be found on the porn set. That means the TVPA should be used against the porn industry as it should be used against all trafficking.

Sex trafficking does not happen in a vacuum — it is the tragic, criminal product of permissive attitudes toward sexual exploitation. All laws should be employed to target these evils. 

PATRICK A. TRUEMAN, FORMER DIRECTOR THE CHILD EXPLOITATION AND OBSCENITY SECTION, CRIMINAL DIVISION, OF THE U.S. JUSTICE DEPARTMENT, IS PRESIDENT AND CEO OF MORALITY IN MEDIA, AN ORGANIZATION THAT OPPOSES PORNOGRAPHY AND SEXUAL TRAFFICKING. THIS ARTICLE IS DRAWN FROM A PRESENTATION TO BE GIVEN AT THE THIRD ANNUAL HUMAN TRAFFICKING CONFERENCE AT ST. THOMAS LAW SCHOOL, IN MIAMI, ON FRIDAY.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/op-ed/article1976789.html#storylink=cpy

It’s not if a child will be exposed to porn, but when.

It’s not if a child will be exposed to porn, but when.

UNFILTERED: Equipping parents for an ongoing conversation about Internet pornography helps parents prepare their kids for a world where pornography is readily available. You will learn:

• Statistics and effects of pornography use and exposure
• How to use parental controls effectively
• The difference between blocking and discussing Internet use
• Simple parenting techniques to keep up with kids’ activities online
• How to have healthy and God-centered conversations about sexual temptations and what we see and do online

http://www.covenanteyes.com/learn-to-protect-your-family-with-this-free-how-to-guide/

5 Things to Know and Share About Sex Trafficking

1. WHAT IS SEX TRAFFICKING

Sex trafficking is a subset of human trafficking  and has been defined by the 2013 Trafficking in Persons Report as a “severe form” of trafficking in which “a commercial sex act is induced by force, fraud, or coercion.”

2. HOW BIG IS THE PROBLEM?

Big! Ernie Allen, president of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children conservatively estimates there are at least 100,000 US children per year used for the purpose of commercial sexual exploitation. Steve Wagner, former director of the Human Trafficking Program at the US Department of Health and Human Services, estimates this number is closer to a quarter of a million kids per year.

“The only way not to find this problem in any city,” says Allen,” is simply not to look for it.”

3. IS THERE A LINK BETWEEN PORN AND SEX TRAFFICKING?

Indeed there is. To quote Laura Lederer, former Senior Advisor on Trafficking in Persons for the U.S. State Department,  “Pornography is a brilliant social marketing campaign for commercial sexual exploitation.”

Porn is marketing for sex trafficking both directly and indirectly: directly because online and offline hubs for trafficking use pornographic images to draw the buyers, indirectly because of porn’s influence on the culture.

A key ingredient to the success of commercial sex is the belief that people (women especially) are sexual commodities, and Internet pornography is the ideal vehicle to teach and train this belief. Catherine MacKinnon of Harvard Law says, “consuming pornography is an experience of bought sex” and thus it creates a hunger to continue to purchase and objectify, and act out what is seen. For some, this means objectifying their wife, girlfriend, or acquaintances. For others, this means turning to the world of commercial sex.

4. WHAT ARE SOME ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE SEEKING TO COMBAT SEXUAL TRAFFICKING AND HELP THOSE WHO ARE TRAFFICKED?

There are a number of great organizations doing great work in this area: 

Global Centurion; International Justice Mission; Shared Hope International; Destiny Rescue, andChildren of the Immaculate Heart.

5. WHAT CAN I DO TO FIGHT SEXUAL TRAFFICKING?

Here are three simple action steps you can take immediately to begin fighting sex trafficking:

1. Get serious about overcoming your own tendency to sexually objectify others through pornography.Learn the steps to take now.

2. Download and read the free ebook, Stop the Demand: The Role of Porn in Sex Trafficking, then use social media to your advantage to share it with as many people as you possibly can.

3. Give to help rescue and rehabilitate victims. You can Sponsor a rescued child through groups likeDestiny Rescue or International Justice Mission.

5 Mistakes Parents Make When It Comes to Talking About Porn

Here are five ways parents typically botch up talking to their kids about porn.

1. Not talking about it at all

The first and biggest mistake is silence. Your child was created by God as a sexual being, and it is your job to give them the best possible information about the purpose of sexual desire. Because of the oversexed society we live in, the consequences of avoiding conversations about porn are simply too great.

Research shows that when adolescents are comfortable talking about sexuality with their parents, and when parents are proactive in teaching their children about sex, teens are far less likely to have early sexual intercourse and more likely to talk with their parents about important issues in their lives.

2. Not preparing before talking

Realizing that your child has been accessing porn repeatedly can be frightening, upsetting, and unnerving. If you find out your child is watching pornography, your gut reaction might be to speak to them immediately. Don’t. Take a day or two to figure out what you need to say.

If at all possible, delay having the conversation. If you find out on Tuesday that your child has accessed pornography, there’s no harm in waiting until Thursday or Friday to talk with them. You need time to process what you need to say and how you need to say it. Take time to rehearse what you need to say and pray God will give you a redemptive attitude.

3. Not listening to your child’s heart

There are many reasons why a child or teen begins looking at porn. When talking to your child about this subject, no matter what, don’t lose sight of the person sitting across from you. When you ask him or her a question, don’t be quick to fill the awkward silence with your voice. Give your son or daughter time to respond. Constantly remind yourself to hold your tongue and give your child space to talk.

Listen with a compassionate heart. Don’t use silence as a means to “glare down” at your child in disappointment. Let your eyes communicate tenderness. Listen to your child’s questions, curiosities, insecurities, lusts, guilt, shame, or emotions. Get raw, uncensored responses.

Remember: this conversation is not ultimately about porn; it is about you getting to know your child. This initial conversation is about unearthing your child’s motivations for viewing pornography.

4. Not monitoring Internet use

Knowing exactly what your child has accessed and when can be very helpful. The more knowledge you have, the less ambiguous the conversation will be.

Learn how to check the browsing history of any Internet device in the home. Know how to check any browsing apps on mobile devices as well. If you have Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability, you should have access to an un-erasable log of information such as search terms that were used, videos that were watched, and websites that were accessed. Take note of what they are and when they were accessed.

The goal of this knowledge is not to say “Gotcha!” When you question your child about what they were looking at and why, you are likely to hear the phrase like, “I don’t know” a few dozen times. Having this conversation will probably be very difficult for your son or daughter. The more information you can volunteer, the less of a burden he or she will have explaining everything to you from start to finish. “I noticed you were searching for ____,” you might say. “What made you curious about that?”

5. Not talking about the goodness of sex

Sex on screen only cheapens the goodness of sex. Viewing porn needs to be contrasted with the the good gift of sex as God has made it.

• Porn is selfish; sex is giving. When you watch porn, you are at the center of the fantasy. But having sex in a loving manner is about both receiving and giving pleasure. You don’t want to train your mind to see the opposite sex as a thing to be used rather than a person to be loved.
• Porn bonds you to an image; sex bonds you with a person. You are physically and emotionally wired for intimacy. That’s why God made sex so pleasurable, because it bonds a man and woman together. But when we lust after pornography, we are bonding to those images, not to a person.
• Porn is abusive; marital sex is nourishing. What you don’t see when you watch pornography is what it’s like when the camera stops recording: the world of drugs, alcohol, abuse, and brokenness. By watching pornography, we only give incentive to those who abuse these women to keep doing it.
• Porn dishonors God; marital sex honors Him. God has told us His will for us is to abstain from sexual immorality (1 Thessalonians 4:3). God will judge the sexually immoral and the adulterers because He wants the marriage bed kept pure (Hebrews 13:4). As a young man/woman of faith, don’t dishonor Him with your body by filling your mind with images of sin.